New Year... Old Habits

  I used to think of myself as a blogger, a writer, a chronicler of my life.  I could write about the most mundane things: from my kids strange and funny quotes; to little tidbits of the daily news.  And, sometimes, even my biggest hopes and dreams.  My time spent writing made me happier, more complete on some days and on other days it only seemed to make the "holes" in my life bigger, darker... scarier.  In the end, I always seemed to go back to my love of writing and everything else, those scary things, faded with each word written. 

  That is until I became a full-time mom.  My time was stretched more tightly than it had ever been at any point in my life and I felt a more intense commitment to that unpaid job than I ever did in any cubicle or office I was in, toiling away for a salary (some good, others decent, but all reflected my efforts with cash). Time 'tis a precious, precarious thing.

  It's now 2014... almost five years since I left my office in Beverly Hills for days spent in yoga pants, washing clothes, doing dishes, making dinners, grocery shopping, refereeing altercations over the last Chocolate Chunk granola bar and playing Los Angeles cabdriver to my kids.  And let me tell you: kids NEVER tip. They WILL leave a million and one goldfish crackers in your car and use you as a human kleenex. With the New Year approaching, one of my resolutions is WRITE MORE.  As with all of my endeavors, I can't promise anything.  I tend to loose interest or, rather, I loose time.  Only, I am beginning to realize that all we have is time.  But it's short.  What I can guarantee is this: I will do my damnedest to make my time as sweet as I can possible make it.  And it has to include my loves of writing, photography, learning and my family.

  So, bring on 2014... time for loving life. 

This Week's Quotes From Big D...

... knowing my husband, this could be a regular thing if I could only remember to write down all the gems he throws out there for me.

"Wow. Two showers in two days? What's up with this? You feeling ex-trah funk-ay or what?"
(I have been a SAHM for 4 years... he's used to my "funk.")

"You're going to have to wash out my coffee mug real good... I had to pee in it."
(L.A. traffic claims another coffee mug.)

"Is it cold in here or are you way too excited about the NHL play-off's?"
(Nope.  Neither.  I was thinking about Dave Grohl.)

30 Days of Friendship

FRIENDSHIP: friend·ship  /ˈfrendˌSHip/
Noun

   1. The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
   2. A relationship between friends.

  Lately, through the tragic occurrences in the world playing out before our eyes on the news, web and in our own lives, instead of dwelling on those tragedies, I have chosen to focus on the positives in my world.  To be aware of how very grateful I should be for the support and love I have in my friends. Some of them have been around for decades, some just a few years, but all of them have touched me in such a positive way that I can't help but thank the universe for sending them to me.

  But I also want to thank them directly.  However, I am what you would call "geographically-challenged", too far from many of my friends that a walk or drive over with a bouquet of flowers and a big HUG to show my appreciation (well, unless I pull a Forrest Gump and just keep run'in).  So, I am challenging myself to 30 Days of Friendship.

  30 days dedicated to spend a moment, every day, to show my love to all of the people who I have been lucky enough to call "friend". Near or far, in my small way, I will devote a breath or two to friendly gratitude; to enjoy laughter and hope.

  30 days of LOVE (friends or family or work mates)... call it an experiment in karma, but I wanted to make my time here on earth brighter. Even if it takes a million teeny-tiny steps, I will make each one count toward making this little life BETTER. And I think it all starts with gratitude. 

  And I issue the same challenge to you.  We can all seem to find the time for all of life's duties that are less than satisfying (cleaning, bills, errands, etc), but we don't always find the time for what makes this life so sweet...

  One friend a day.  One person who makes the days here on earth worthwhile.

  Ready? Set?  Love.

Let's Not Make Kim K. the Poster Girl For Pregnant Women Everywhere

  The only reason I get sucked into any reality star argument it is this one:

"THEY CHOSE AND CONTINUE TO CHOOSE TO GET PAID FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE THAT THEIR LIVES BECOME PUBLIC."

  And they did this in the time of mass media, social media; in a time of instant information in the palm of your hands. It is not the Hollywood when celebrities had private lives with an amount of, well, privacy.  There were not a film crews at their weddings. Nor any television networks that were willing to PAY them to televise their daily lives for millions of strangers.

  No one will argue that Kim K. is PAID HANDSOMELY to be in the public eye.  But should her pregnancy body come under scrutiny?

Well, riddle me this... did she allow the public to view her per-pregnancy body?  Did she make money off of that body?  Yes. Yes. An $18 Million dollar net worth YES.  And guess what? She's making money off of that body right now! It's free press. It's not kind, but it's free and it is making her money AND will likely do the same with her postpartum body. 

SIDE NOTE: prepare yourselves for a birth with advertising sponsers and Kim K and -insert baby name that begins with a K here- workout DVD.
 
Pregnant women like you and me, let's embrace THEM. Let's open doors for them, offer help with chores to them.  And let's have "stork parking" and family bathrooms.  And let's put down the People Magazine and stop paying any attention to the Kardashians.

Never Alone

   I have noticed that the boys are much, much braver than my other three offspring ever were. They will venture down dark hallways, up steep steps and open any door they can pry their little fingers into. And it should have been obvious why that is the case, but it took my Pops to point it out: "They are never alone. Life is probably much less scary with your best friend by your side."

I mean, duh, right?

 "If you slip and tumble downwards, aim right, brother. Aim right."

 "If this ever gets out, we can deny it ever happened. Photographic evidence be damned! It's two against one."

 "No, no... I won't lock it. I'll just close the door. Go on. Get in."

 "If we don't look directly at her, maybe she'll go away."

Life with your best friend by your side...   not a bad life if you ask me (or them).

The Apple? Yeah, It's RIGHT NEXT To The Tree.

This one? She talks. 

 Non. 

Stop. 

(She's a tad bit like her mother that way.)

 

After all, silence is overrated. 

And talking with your kids is the sweetest noise.

The Green Monster

   I have always been a person who truly believed that jealousy is a wasted emotion.  There's nothing in this world worth being jealous of because, someone, somewhere can be jealous of you and what you have.  Sure, there are things in this life that I would like to have (top of the list: Susan Tedeschi's singing voice), or own (Berkshire Hathaway stock purchased in 1967), or be (on a permanent vacation).  But when I look around and see what I DO have, that little green monster inside dies in an overdose of gratitude. Even when I remember that Dave Grohl is married and not to me.

Until now...

  Since becoming a step-parent almost 9 years ago, I have learned that I can be jealous and no amount of gratitude can change it.  What I am jealous of is normal co-parenting relationships.  Exes that can iron out differences; step-parents that chip in to the efforts of child rearing without fear of confrontation from the biological parents; kids that don't have to see the people they love in constant conflict or feel the animosity at every possible event their parents and step-parents attend. Blended families that can function, even at a very basic level, are something I envy.  It is the biggest, baddest, most ferocious green monster I have ever come across.  It's about the size of the National Debt and twice as ridiculous.


  The ridiculousness comes from the fact that there is no blended family ANYWHERE, no matter what the circumstances, that should NOT be able to function at that basic level IF they could put the children first.  It is the adults in the situation that have that control and being adults, they should be able to act like one. At all times. No matter what. Divorces and break-ups are not usually happy, fun times. I get it. I've been through both. No one is doing cartwheels through the division of property or friends or their breaking hearts. But I always knew that my child deserved a parent that could move past the adult difficulties to do my job for them.  It wasn't always easy and a lot of smiles were as fake as a cubic zirconium engagement ring, but it is what you do.  It should be a reflex, like ducking through a small door or flinching when a bee flies around your face.

It should be a reflex, innate and instinctive. Dear God, it should be.

(to be continued...)